Monday, March 1, 2010

Bullet Witch

     Wow, I do believe that was the worst game I have ever played. Well, technically I'm still playing the game. But this game has already racked up so many "disgust" points, it's hard to remember all the things that are wrong with Bullet Witch. Hmm.. Let's start with the AI. The AI is, well... just the A. Sure, the soldiers you get to *ahem* "help" you are er... alright, but they really don't do anything except get themselves killed. At the beginning of the second level, I gained about 5 AI soldiers, and after the first wave of enemies, they were all dead. You have to keep putting yourself in danger to use your "sacrifice" spell on them (whereupon, you spray your somehow magical, healing blood on them), if you want to keep them around. Also, another example of their lack of intellect is the inability to avoid falling Gigas, or giant geists. There was one soldier who yelled at me to come to his location, whereupon he was immediately squashed by a Giga I had just killed.
     Oh, I have a problem with Gigas as well. The AI for these enemies also lacks "I;" if you start shooting at their exposed heart (which kinda reminds me of the tyrants of Resident Evil...) before they notice you, they'll just keep turning around in circles, and if they do find you, they aim their gun at you... But if you keep shooting the heart, they won't be able to fire. It's kind of pathetic, really. After the Gigas had fallen, I also noticed the geist soldiers can fire through the fallen giants. (Huh??) Speaking of the geist soldiers... they are wearing man-scarfs, which isn't even logical, because you can tell the skin once belonged on the skull of a person. After ripping skin off, I'm sure it couldn't retain that shape... Also, you know the newspaper articles at the end of the chapters? Who prints those, seriously? I thought this was supposed to be an apocalyptic game, to an extent.
     As far as the survivors who are "interviewed" for the paper... I can't stand those guys. They wander aimlessly about, like they have no brain at all. If I were in that kind of situation in their shoes, I would grab a gun (or the nearest crowbar or wrench) and start a group, if the other people I met had a brain in their skulls as well. There's also the issue of the er.. "implied storyline," if you will. Bullet Witch tries to introduce some sort of really detailed storyline, but it never gets around to the "detail" part.
     You don't even know that much about the character you're playing as, Alicia. All you know is she's a witch, who has a gun that looks like a broom, and who has pretty useless spells. Oh, and she has a demon who talks to her "in her head," and he doesn't have any sympathy for the human race, but Alicia is trying to kill off all the demons... AHHHHH! This is ridiculous.
     Now, as I'm headed through the sewers, I'm noticing very silly messages upon the walls such as: "Death for Creature" and "Every evening has a sunrise," then as the text gets smaller, the "every" reads: "ever." I also ran into some incredibly ridiculous enemies demons called "screamers" produced. They ran around with their arms flailing and making silly noises.
     Well, that's pretty much it on Bullet Witch for now, if I find anymore complaints as this God-awful game continues on, I'll add to this entry, like Alicia's horrible one-liners like "Witches don't need...[3 second pause] prayers." or "I'll just have to...[5 second pause] go outside." Or something like that...
Addition- Why is Alicia able to defy physics and stand on top of an airplane, in heels, while fighting a demon, anyway?

[UPDATE: Guys, I couldn't finish this awful game, I'm sorry. Anyone who has finished this game, I really commend you for such, and you should be given an award or something. Haha. Being made to play such a game should be considered torture.]

So, what's the worst game you guys have ever played?


<-- Game link just in case you want to play this game to see how awful it really is.

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